Week 1 College Football Shoutouts

Inspired by Jalen Rose from the immortal Jalen and Jacoby podcast on Grantland.com, it's time for some shoutouts! Instead of joyously reaching for his Blackberry while saying "Much love to you" to random Twitter handles while podcast co-host David Jacoby expresses his disdain for Jalen's favorite segment by either pretending to fall asleep or doubting aloud the validity of YouTube commenters' locations, I plan on starting a weekly tradition in which I simply give credit where credit is due to college football's standout performers. Week 1 was filled with explosive plays, monstrous stat lines, and, well, this. Oops, it seems like I just inadvertently gave my first shoutout right there. Here are my top five from the opening weekend's bevy of games, enjoy:

• Obligatory/Begrudged Shoutout to Kenny Hill, who dropped 511 yards and 3 touchdowns on the 'Ol Ball Coach's swiss cheese defense. There were questions all offseason over whether or not he could handle the pressure of being Johnny Football's successor. I'd say he basically took a page from the Marshawn Lynch playbook in quelling those concerns.
• Shoutout to Sam Ficken, senior kicker for Penn State, for burying four field goals, including a game-winning, 36-yarder against UCF in the Nittany Lions opener in Dublin, Ireland. Ficken has been known to shank a clutch kick or two before, so seeing Ficken rise to the occasion in the first game of the season is an encouraging sign for a promising Penn State team. Plus, it all but guaranteed he will be swimming in pussy for at least the next 6 days.
• Shoutout to Georgia RB/Most Dangerous Man in the World with a Football Todd Gurley, who galloped his way to nearly 300 yards and 3 TD's on the ground, while also adding a 100-yard kickoff return score, you know, just 'cause he can. Gurley has placed himself squarely at the front of any early Heisman talks, and is looking like the safest bet to finally be the running back to buck the recent trend and actually get taken in the first round of the 2015 NFL Draft.
• Shoutout to top junior college transfers D'haquille Williams and Tyreek Hill. Williams and Hill, the #1 and 4 players, respectively, in the 2014 ESPN JUCO 50, both made their case for superstardom very early with their debuts on Saturday. Williams, a 6-3, 215-pound, Cordarrelle Patterson clone, caught 9 passes for 154 yards and a TD for Auburn in their 45-21 rout of Arkansas. Williams was highly sought after by plenty of the top programs in the country, and Auburn must be even more glad they managed to reel him in. Hill elicits comparisons to De'Anthony Thomas and Darren Sproles as an undersized, dynamic RB/WR, and I might even go as far as saying his talent level surpasses that of those two guys. Hill was everywhere for Oklahoma State last night in their surprisingly close defeat at the hands of Florida State. Hill accounted for 278 all-purpose yards (44 rushing, 62 receiving, 172 return) and generally made Seminole defenders look like they were moving in slow motion. I mean, just look at that. If I'm seeing it correctly, that is the vaunted Florida State defense that averaged less PPG against than any other team in college football a season ago that Hill is leaving in the dust. Hill was essentially the Michael Cera to Florida State's Seth Rogen. Bottom line, they may be two years older than the other first-year phenoms out there, but that does not mean we should be any less excited about the havoc they are prepared to wreak on their opponents this season.
• Finally, Shoutout to the entire USC offense, for being ridiculously entertaining en route to a 52-13 win over Fresno State. QB Cody Kessler appears to have taken a huge step forward from last year after amassing 422 total yards and 5 combined TD's passing and rushing. Running back Javorius Allen picked up where he left off at the end of last season with 133 yards and a touchdown. The wide receiver group for the Trojans looked downright scary, as six different receivers caught at least 3 passes. Darreus Rogers and Nelson Agholor came into the season expected to carry the unit, and they certainly did their part, combining for 117 yards and 2 TD's. It's the contributions from true freshmen, however, that truly put this collection of pass-catchers on a different level. #9 overall recruit Adoree' Jackson, along with Texas A&M receiver Speedy Noil, entered college football with the reputation for being an extremely explosive play-maker in all facets of the game. Jackson's future might end up being at cornerback, but he could certainly fool me into thinking he was exclusively an offensive player after 3 catches for 36 yards and a touchdown. #1 TE Bryce Dixon even caught a 22-yard touchdown. The star of the diaper dandies, however, was #3 athlete John "Juju" Smith. Juju, as he will be forever referred to in this blog, caught 4 balls for 123 yards, an average of 30.8 YPC! For the good of the world, I sincerely hope stat lines like this keep appearing throughout the season so that the sight of the name "Juju" can continue to bless us on box scores everywhere. Much love to YOU, Juju Smith.

Week 1 College Football Preview

Ever since now-Carolina Panther Kelvin Benjamin engulfed a 2 yard pass from Jameis Winston in the middle of the end zone with 13 seconds left in the 2014 BCS National Championship game, I've been anxiously awaiting the start of the 2014 season. Playoffs are here, which means there will never be any controversy ever again over who plays in the National Championship. In related news, Alabama's dynasty is over, you shouldn't expect any major contributions from any freshmen over at LSU, and Texas A&M is going to have a lot of trouble replacing Johnny Manziel.

Despite my overly-sarcastic remarks, the college football world is a better world with playoffs in it than without. From a purely college football fan-standpoint, there really isn't much downside to this new system. Worst-case scenario, we get an additional game for which we ceaselessly debate over the credibility of the teams playing. Putting aside the politics, I'm just glad my beloved college football has returned. And boy did it return. Every Friday during the season, I will write up my preview/big-game picks for the upcoming week, so obviously I will only be able to recap the weekly Thursday night games. As I alluded to above, Texas A&M is off to a great start to the post-Johnny Football era, because of course they are. How can you fail as a program when you have this in your arsenal? Their 52-28 steamrolling of South Carolina last night may have already proved to any remaining Kevin Sumlin critic that he is the engine driving A&M forward, and he could probably build an offense around Frank Underwood throwing the football and still win 9-10 games. That is not to take anything away from Kenny Hill, of course, our newest underclassman breakout star to hijack the college football headlines and Heisman Watch standings. His demolition of that South Carolina "defense" on opening night reminded many of a certain Florida State quarterback's debut against Pitt just last season. I seem to be meandering between extremes right now, so allow me to simply say that I begrudgingly accept from now on that nothing can stop this A&M momentum-train at the moment, and Kenny Hill is just the latest conductor to be given the keys from Sumlin.

Before I get to my picks for Saturday's games, just need to give a quick shoutout to my Temple Owls for their semi-stunning 37-7 victory over Vanderbilt in Nashville. I say "semi" because leading up to the game it seemed impossible that a 2-win Temple team from last year could defeat a 9-win SEC team...right up until about halfway through the first quarter when it was clear that the losses of James Franklin and Jordan Matthews has transformed Vanderbilt from "knocking on the door of the 2nd-class SEC teams" to "we're not even sure they can beat Kentucky at home." Nevertheless, a road win against ANY SEC team is something to be proud of, especially when trying to (re-?)build a winning culture. Without further ado, here are my thoughts on Week 1's slate of notable games.

12:00 PM - 5 Ohio State (-16) at Navy
Usually, a matchup like this wouldn't even be discussed, but with Braxton Miller out for the year after re-injuring his shoulder, this Ohio State offense is going to be under close scrutiny. Redshirt freshman J.T. Barrett takes over, and really the Buckeyes' talent will still overwhelm Navy in route to an unquestioned win. But just how dominant they look will be the main aspect of this game that will be monitored. How comfortable will Barrett look trying to replicate what Miller has meant to this offense the past three years? Will running back Ezekiel Elliott, with help from others, carry the offense instead while trying to fill the sizable shoes of Carlos Hyde? Can the lauded defensive line, featuring studs like Noah Spence and Joey Bosa, become the backbone of the entire team? These are the lingering questions worth taking note of while watching what should still be an easy win for Ohio State.

3:30 PM - West Virginia at 2 Alabama (-26)
While this game is certainly is not being treated like one to even keep an eye on, I believe that there are some intriguing story lines buried deep within the inevitable 'Bama blowout. First of all, the length of the leash given to QB Blake Sims will be a discussion topic among fans throughout the first couple of weeks. If Sims struggles at all, at what point does the call for Jacob Coker to take the reins become too loud for Saban to ignore? Obviously, either signal-caller will never face an opponent that is game-planning to stop the pass when they are much too occupied with tearing the hair out trying to corral the deadly duo of T.J. Yeldon and Derrick Henry. While Yeldon is a fantastic running back with a bright NFL future ahead of him, the Tide offense will only benefit by putting the ball in Henry's hands as much as possible throughout this season. At 6-3, 241 pounds, Henry brings a power-speed-vision combo that is virtually unrivaled by any ball-carrier in college football this season. If new OC Lane Kiffin wants to make a splash in his debut, he would be wise to let Henry loose on an inexperienced Mountaineers defense.

5:30 PM - 16 Clemson at 12 Georgia (-8)
Full disclosure, I love following the recruiting aspect of college football. I spend an inordinate amount of time researching the top recruits in the country each year so that I have a jump on the average college football fan in knowing who are the game's future stars. I've known the name Jameis Winston since 2011, and was not surprised whatsoever in his explosion last year. I am confident that LSU will be able to reload in a big way despite losing gobs of talent to the NFL after signing yet another talented class. And finally, I believe Clemson is making a big mistake in handing the headset and clipboard to redshirt freshman quarterback Deshaun Watson for their first game at Georgia. Watson was the consensus #1 QB of the class of 2013, and the hype that surrounded him as he lit up every camp he attended nearly reached the level of Winston a year earlier. That type of talent level, combined with the recent trend of redshirt freshman QB's taking over after highly successful predecessors and winning the Heisman, should translate to college football's next breakout star. There are reports claiming that Watson will have some type of role for the Tigers tomorrow, but if coach Dabo Swinney is essentially conceding that current starter Cole Stoudt can't get the job done by himself, then why not simply replace Stoudt with Watson altogether? Putting the offense on Watson's shoulders, however, nowhere near guarantees a victory for Clemson. Georgia's front seven is loaded, and should be flustering both quarterbacks all game long. Additionally, Gurshall (the punishing RB tandem of Todd Gurley and Keith Marshall) will most likely carve up Clemson's defense, as well as every other team they play this season. I like Georgia to take the whole SEC East this year anyway, so Clemson's QB decision might just only mean the difference between a close or dominating victory for the Bulldogs.

8:00 PM - 1 Florida State (-19) at Oklahoma State
Now defending a Heisman trophy and a national championship, Mr. Winston makes his long-awaited return to the field following a turbulent offseason. This sounds like the much-repeated narrative heading into FSU's first game of the 2014 season. As much as I can't wait to watch Winston dazzle once again, there will be three other aspects of this game that I will be paying very close attention to. First, Karlos Williams is taking over as the lead dog in the Seminole backfield. Williams, who arrived at Tallahassee as a top-10 recruit AT SAFETY, averaged over eight yards-per-carry last year while emerging as a highly dependable goal-line back. I am extremely interested in how often Jimbo Fisher reaches into his stable of former blue-chip running backs, including true freshman Dalvin Cook, to provide a change-of-pace from the bruising Williams. Secondly, sophomores will be a huge part of this Florida State defense, as linebacker Matthew Thomas, cornerback/safety Jalen Ramsey, and sophomore pass rusher Demarcus Walker are all expected to become major contributors as they take over for departed players. Thomas must replace the consistency of current Jacksonville Jaguar linebacker Telvin Smith, Ramsey will be called upon to showcase the big-play ability that made Lamarcus Joyner a star last year, and Walker must stabilize the pass rush as Mario Edwards moves inside to replace Timmy Jernigan. Lastly, I will be keeping my eyes glued to #24...on Oklahoma State. That's right, a little Cowboy love! I, along with basically every college football expert, am expecting highlight-reel plays from top junior college transfer Tyreek Hill every time he touches the football. Being employed in a Tavon Austin-esque role, we should be seeing Hill taking carries out of the backfield as well as catching passes out wide. Florida State may have their hands full trying to contain Hill, who very well may end up as this year's De'Anthony Thomas-Dri Archer-Venric Mark type of player who emerges as a game changer for his squad as a running back, receiver, and returner. Unfortunately, Hill will not be enough to prevent Oklahoma State from being yet another opponent that Jameis picks apart with ease. This will be a crab-I mean cakewalk, for the defending champs.

9:00 PM - 14 Wisconsin at 13 LSU (-6)
For those old-school football fans who get nauseated at the sight of 60 and 56 pass attempts by Kenny Hill and Connor Halliday of Washington State respectively, and yearn for the days of power football, then this is your kind of game. Wisconsin and LSU feature two of the most ground-based offenses in the country, with running backs at the helm that are true phenoms. For the Badgers, junior Melvin Gordon is one of the rare running backs with a shot to be a 1st round pick in the 2015 NFL draft. Gordon, standing 6-1, 207, is a classic three-down back who possesses great top-end speed, excellent vision, and the production to match (1,609 rushing yards last season, second in the Big Ten). Wearing purple and gold is the previously mentioned Leonard Fournette, he of the Adrian Peterson and Michael Jordan comparisons. Fournette, a true freshman and the #1 overall player in the 2014 ESPN 300, has been the source of more buzz than a bee hive this summer as all who witness him practice are left in awe of his natural ability. Of course, very few teams utilize only one running back nowadays, and it is no different with Wisconsin and LSU. Corey Clement, Gordon's backup, put together an extremely impressive season in 2013 considering he was the 3rd-string behind Gordon and James White, amassing 547 yards and 7 TD's on only 67 carries, good for a 8.2 YPC. Sharing the LSU backfield with Fournette are Terrence Magee and Kenny Hilliard, who both were part of a committee last year with Jeremy Hill and Alfred Blue, both now in the NFL. Because it is 2014, though, this game will end up being decided by quarterback play, especially given the inexperience for both squads. Tanner McEvoy is making his starting debut for Wisconsin after transferring from a junior college prior to last season, while Anthony Jennings of LSU was forced into action last year following Zach Mettenberger's torn ACL. Neither is expected to shoulder anything close to a large burden in their offenses, and whichever one makes more mistakes is likely to be the quarterback of the losing team. With that in mind, I give the slight edge to LSU, as Jennings knows his role and has been prepared to operate in a game-manager role since he took over as starter a season ago.

One last game I have to mention: North Texas at Texas. David Ash, please stay healthy. Johnathan Gray, please look recovered from your torn Achilles. And Charlie Strong, please don't let us down. Hook 'em Horns

Emmy Predictions

Emmy night is here! As someone who has an unexplainable desire to 1) watch ceremonies in which awards are given out to people who are the "best" at entertaining me, and 2) make predictions about the outcomes of pretty much anything, the Emmy's are basically like Christmas to me. Not Christmas how Andy Samberg and Justin Timberlake celebrate it though. How about we just say Emmy night is a joyous occasion to me and stop thinking about JT's genitalia in a carefully wrapped package (pun intended)? Cool? Cool. Full disclosure, I have not seen every show that is represented in these categories, which will more than likely result in most of these picks ending up being what I want to see instead of what I think will actually happen. And remember, I'm not perfect. I'd like to think that I'm a knowledgeable and intuitive television watcher, but, when it comes down to it, I'm a sucker for intensely philosophical ramblings. Without further ado, let's start the blind guessing!

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series
The Nominees: Anna Gunn (Breaking Bad), Lena Headey (Game of Thrones), Joanne Froggatt (Downton Abbey), Christina Hendricks (Mad Men), Maggie Smith (Downton Abbey), Christine Baranski (The Good Wife)

The Winner: Lena Headey
She's not the queen for nothing! Headey as Queen Cersei Lannister on the juggernaut that is Game of Thrones is a performance that can not be matched by any of the other nominees in this category. Just her incredible wine consumption alone is a feat that deserves to be rewarded with a golden statue. That lady knows her way around a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc (All credit to Grantland's Andy Greenwald and Chris Ryan for that amazing running joke). Goblet-pouring skills aside, Headey has done incredible work with the character, making what should have been a melancholy, lifeless chambermaid into the most riveting, unpredictable woman in all the seven kingdoms.

The Top Challenger: Anna Gunn
Oh what a ride we the fans have taken with dear Skylar White. We hated on her, and hated on her some more, until she wrote an editorial in the New York Times reminding us that she is just an actress playing the character and that she is WAY too mature and self-confident to be affected by the evil depths of the Internet. Simply put, Gunn acted the shit out of that role and, not unlike Headey, took Mrs. Heisenberg to a level beyond what the writers probably even envisioned. So, to all the haters still out there, just shut up.

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama Series
The Nominees: Aaron Paul (Breaking Bad), Josh Charles (The Good Wife), Peter Dinklage (Game of Thrones), Jim Carter (Downton Abbey), Mandy Patinkin (Homeland), Jon Voight (Ray Donovan)

The Winner: Peter Dinklage
In my opinion, this one is no contest. Dinklage's portrayal of royal dwarf Tyrion Lannister during this past season of Game of Thrones was far superior to any performance turned in by the other nominees. Honestly, I don't think I can fairly make a case for Dinklage with just my words, so I'll let him do it. Enjoy.

The Top Challenger: Jon Voight
The Emmy's love themselves an established movie star who chooses to return to the small screen. Voight has received rave reviews from critics for his character Mickey Donovan, the psychotic, divisive father of Liev Schreiber's title character. If anyone can be the David to Dinklage's Goliath, my pick would be the Academy Award-winning Voight.

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series
The Nominees: Claire Danes (Homeland), Lizzy Caplan (Masters of Sex), Kerry Washington (Scandal), Julianne Margulies (The Good Wife), Robin Wright (Forrest Gump House of Cards), Michelle Dockery (Downton Abbey)

The Winner: Kerry Washington
This category was definitely the most difficult to pick, partly because there is no absolute standout performance from this bunch, and partly due to the fact that I don't watch any of these shows. If I were to go off ratings, which I will do, then Washington is the pick. It seems that any congregation of females age 35+ results in discussions about what each thought about Olivia Pope.

The Top Challenger: Lizzy Caplan
Upset Alert! Something tells me that the Emmy voters would love to show off their progressiveness with an award given to the critically adored and not-50-Shades-of-Grey-resembling Showtime hit "Masters of Sex". Caplan, along with co-lead Michael Sheen, have done exceptional work in causing "Masters" to surpass "Homeland" as Showtime's flagship drama.

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series
The Nominees: Bryan Cranston (Breaking Bad), Jon Hamm (Mad Men), Jeff Daniels (The Newsroom), Matthew McConaughey (True Detective), Woody Harrelson (True Detective), Kevin Spacey (House of Cards)

The Winner: Matthew McConaughey
Blasphemy! No Cranston for BB's final season?!?! Yeah, it happened. Rust Cohle was perhaps the most compelling television character ever created, and not even The One Who Knocks can measure up to Rust's BAMF status. Admittedly, it was extremely difficult for me to choose McConaughey over Cranston, or any of these guys for that matter. It was that loaded of a field. Well, I guess I had no trouble passing over Jeff Daniels (you already have one undeserved Emmy, stop being so greedy!). Ultimately, McConaughey's ability to make you believe, and almost agree with, every depressing, sometimes incoherent word he's saying is what puts him over the top.

The Top Challenger: Bryan Cranston
You know I had to do it for you (shout-out to Aubrey Graham). Obviously, Cranston has as good a shot as anyone, and probably still remains the favorite. This is his last opportunity to snag an Emmy for his pre-eminent role as Walter White, and his standout moments from these last 8 episodes, including his chilling "Tread lightly" scene, stack up favorably against any other nominees'. I would, however, like to devote at least a few words to commend Jon Hamm on yet another incredible season as Don Draper on "Mad Men" that he will receive no Emmy recognition once again for. Hopefully next year, when McConaughey and Cranston are both absent from this category, Hamm will hear his name called on the Emmy stage like he deserves to. Better late than never, right?

Outstanding Drama Series
The Nominees: Breaking Bad, Mad Men, Game of Thrones, House of Cards, Downton Abbey, True Detective

The Winner: Breaking Bad
It would be a true shame if Gilligan & Co. went home empty handed in this category. Outstanding Director and Writing awards would be nice, but this is the Big Kahuna that everyone wants. Just ask Samuel L. Jackson. If Breaking Bad does indeed win, it will most likely be as a celebration of the show in its entirety, but the final 8 episodes that are actually the ones under consideration for this year's award were among the finest in the show's five-season run. I doubt you would see many complaints among those in the industry if Heisenberg's swan song, not to be confused with his actual song, is rewarded with an Emmy.

The Top Challenger: Game of Thrones/True Detective
This may seem like a cop-out to you, but I truly couldn't decide between these two titans for the honor of Most Likely to Cause Vince Gilligan to Flip Off the Camera. GoT was undeniably phenomenal this past season, from the first time Oberyn Martell shows his face in the premiere, to when his face is shown scattered along the floor of the royal arena later in the season (I couldn't resist), and right on through to the Battle on the Wall. Season 4 should and very possibly will be recognized by the Emmy's as TV's best over the past year. On the other hand, DID YOU SEE THAT ENDING TO EPISODE 4 OF TRUE DETECTIVE?!?!?! Those heart-stopping 6 minutes alone should really win every award there is. Outstanding Guest Actress in a Comedy Series, Outstanding Writing for a Miniseries, even Outstanding Directing for a Variety Series, all should go to True Detective creator and director Nic Pizzolatto and Cary Joji Fukunaga, respectively. Those magical 8 episodes may have came and went faster than Marty Hart charging into an ill-advised brawl, but they were unlike anything else on television. I mean, #TrueDetectiveSeason2 becomes trending on Twitter after every time Pizzolatto leaves his house. A force like that can't go unnoticed at Emmy night.

*Bonus Predictions/My-fingers-are-crossed-for-these-outcomes!
Outstanding Writing for a Drama Series - Vince Gilligan for "Felina", Breaking Bad
Outstanding Directing for a Drama Series - Neil Marshall for "The Watchers on the Wall, Game of Thrones
Outstanding Comedy Series - Veep
Outstanding Miniseries - American Horror Story: Coven
Outstanding Variety Series - The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon
1-10 Rating of Host Seth Meyers - 9

Final Notes: I hope everyone enjoys tonight's ceremony as much as I will, and RIP Robin Williams. The Emmy's would do well to put together a fitting tribute to you.

10 Observations from Convocation

Today started out with me knowing only that there was some sort of meeting for my school, the School of Media and Communication. If it wasn't for a very friendly young woman whom I fortunately ran into while aimlessly searching for this meeting, I would have never found it. As she guided me to the location of the meeting (which I was nowhere near, by the way), another woman asked her for directions to a different hall. This second woman, after learning why I was walking alongside the first woman, promptly said "Well, you sure picked up a good looking one." First of all, I was flattered, honestly. A compliment is a compliment, even if it's from a middle-aged woman whom you just met. Naturally, the young woman responded by saying that she could not respond to that comment as to respect the student-university employee relationship. Anyway, since you're definitely reading this the second it's posted despite you having no way to know that this exists, I would like to personally thank the Student-Employee-Boundary-Respecting woman that saved the day for me. So thank you, your help was greatly appreciated.

That was around 9:30. Fast-foward to around 11:30 and I find myself inside the Liacouras Center, home of the Temple men's basketball team, sitting in a crowd of hundreds, thousands possibly, awaiting the Convocation Ceremony to commence. I had no idea what to expect, as the answers I received while asking what to expect ranged from "Basically the opposite of graduation" (only confused me more) to "A bunch of people speaking" (Thanks). So, without further ado, here are 10 observations I made note of while finding out exactly what I was doing there:

1. First thing I hear when I sit down is some Napoleon Dynamite-sounding kid seemingly practicing his upcoming stand-up routine. The following is precisely what I heard: "What does the Temple mascot say when he gets hit in the face...Owwwwl!" Apparently feeling like he's Dave-fuckin'-Chappelle after receiving an obligatory chuckle from the kid next to him, he reveals to the world the grueling process that led to that masterpiece. "I just made that up now...." Comedy may never be the same.
2. To the right is a blurry picture that I took of two of the many important-looking adults that filled the stage and certain sections of the stands. What entranced me about these people was their outfits, especially their hats. As you probably can't see because the quality of this picture is terrible, these two distinguished individuals are sporting the latest in the Heisenberg/Ne-Yo headwear line. Never before have I seen the "jazz musician-superhero-colorful Halloween ghost" look pulled off so incredibly at such an event.
3. I always feel terrible saying this, but I can't help but pay attention to nothing but the sign language interpreter during the national anthem at any event. This event was no different because, as far as I'm concerned, the only thing happening in that arena was a performance like no other. I am not talking about the (probably) lovely singing of the national anthem, but I am of course referring to the sign language interpreter's dedication and passion for signing the words, better yet, the feel, of the national anthem. Her facial expressions, body movements, and velocity of hand motions were unlike anything I've ever seen before. It was almost like those intense orchestra composers you see in movies, except way less obnoxious and much more entertaining. Interestingly enough, her wild theatrics ended with the final word of the national anthem. For the remainder of the ceremony, she was surprisingly calm while signing. Honestly, I was a little disappointed.
4. One professor who was given a brief introduction had the last name of Kumar, which made me immediately hungry for White Castle and wonder if there is a Professor Harold Lee screaming about a car theft somewhere on campus.
5. Shortly after my craving for dog food on tiny buns had left me, an international student named Richard Li entered my life. I may never see Mr. Li ever again, and that would be completely OK. By approximately word 6 of his two-minute speech/Sermon on the Mount, he became the most likable guy I have ever met. The standout line among many gems was easily "If you see me on Liacouras Walk and call me by my given Chinese name (Bokun) and pronounce it correctly, I know that we will be great friends." It was a true you-had-to-be-there moment. The whole crowd erupted into the loudest collection of "Awwwww"'s I have ever heard. I know I might come off slightly condescending right now, but I can not be more serious when I say that if I was at the edge of a cliff, holding Richard Li with my right hand and my future wife with my left, and I had enough strength to pull both of them to safety, I would let go of my wife so I could grab Richard with both hands just to really make sure I had a firm grip on him.
6. Below and to the right is another picture that has worse quality than photos taken in the 19th century. Fortunately, all you need to get out of this image is that there is a woman sitting by herself in a solitary chair completely removed from every other row of chairs. Either she pissed someone off and is on timeout, or the person/people who planned the seating layout loves to throw curveballs at the people who are attending.

7. Met a fairly attractive girl named Melissa, who was sitting next to me during the ceremony. We talked occasionally throughout, but for the most part she was quiet, which made me think she didn't like me at all. Regardless, I hope to see her around.
8. Going out of chronological order here, but after the speakers were finished, a pep rally broke out, which featured head football coach Matt Rhule spewing, what seemed to me, his go-to material when he pitches the benefits of attending Temple to recruits in their living rooms. In related news, I'm suddenly not surprised why the Temple football team had a record of 2-10 last season.
9. The "I Believe" chant made popular during the 2014 World Cup just doesn't work when the "lyrics" are changed to "I believe that we have won" as Temple students recite following any home win. Some things are better left untouched.
10. Finally, BILL FREAKING COSBY SHOWED UP!!! Now, even before today, I was full aware that Bill Cosby, chastiser of Eddie Murphy stand-up, was a Temple alum, and I could probably guess that he most likely makes it to the graduation ceremonies. However, the look of astonishment on my face when I saw Mr. Cosby, wearing a Temple sweater with Temple sweatpants, because why not, slowly and gracefully make his way onto the stage, must have looked like this. Bill (I am a Temple student now, so I can refer to my boy Bill on a first name basis) pulled out a couple of his trademark gimmicks, such as the drawn out syllables at the end of words, as well as really accentuating that iconic drawl of his. Overall, it was pretty magical. He even addressed the possible pitfalls that a college student may encounter on his/her way to a degree. Direct quote: "You're not here to drink. You're not here to have sex." See, this is where we disagree Big Willy Style. That's exactly what I'm here to do, and I'm supremely confident I can participate in those activities while remaining focused on schoolwork and achieving success in the classroom. It's all good though, Billy Bob Thornton. I still love ya. He concluded his speech in the least expected way possible: with a crude joke. If Raw taught me anything, it's that Bill Cosby despises lewd and inappropriate topics. Well, apparently, Eddie Murphy hasn't met the 77-year-old Bill Cosby who stopped giving a shit and decided to enjoy being old and beloved. Dollar Bill's house-shaking finisher went as such: "When your mom comes to visit, don't let her look under your bed only to find your clothes all hard." Un-fuckin'-real. God bless Bill Cosby.

Editor's Note: DISREGARD MY GUSHING OVER BILL COSBY. Wow, did that backfire on me in retrospect.

Intro/Draft Day

For anyone reading this post because they thought it would be a discussion about a song that explores one rapper's man crush for a professional athlete/inventor of communication via legal tender, then I apologize for misleading you, but please continue reading in hopes you are still interested. For those of you who are reading hoping to find a review of a movie masquerading as an NFL commercial, I once again apologize, but I recommend still reading if you are a football fan. The purpose of this blog post, my first ever attempt at this modern art form, is to share with the world the joys of fantasy football, and how it has impacted the friendships of 10 young men over the 4 years our league has been in existence.

Fantasy football, or the common football fan's dream of being a GM realized on a much smaller, less (or more) stressful level, has certainly become a sizable part of my life. From late June to mid-August every year, I religiously scour the Internet for any and all fantasy football news I can find. Any injury, depth chart shake-up, or incredible practice play is seen by my eyeballs and immediately analyzed as I prepare to pick 17 players to have a chance to have the best collection of players by week 16 of the regular season. I am fortunate enough to have won my league the past two years (follow my team @10AMinPhilly. Yes, my fantasy team does have a Twitter account), but excellence even in fantasy football isn't achieved entirely through luck. The work ethic I display in attaining the best possible team could probably end world hunger if applied properly. The culmination of all my research and obsessive reading of articles that contain the words "sleepers" and "breakout" is Draft Day, the single most hyped occasion in the life of a fantasy football player. The feeling of drafting your first-round pick is basically equivalent to what most people feel when watching the beginning of Pulp Fiction when the opening credits begin. Speaking of movies, they feature characters that make the plot interesting and engaging. My fantasy football league is no different. Meet the stars of the Stony Point Fantasy Football League (Follow on Twitter @SP Football. What, you thought it was just me who made Twitter accounts strictly for fantasy purposes?):

Dylan "The Big Guy" Mednick (@NOTORIOUSMAFIA1) 

Profile: My brother, and current butt of every awful-at-fantasy joke in my league. Dylan has missed the playoffs the past two years after finishing the 4th the first year.

Personality: WAY TOO NICE. Constantly gets verbally abused for rooting for my team to win the championship last year, despite him being one of the teams I would beat on my way there. Is also really bad at trash talking and drafting running backs in the 4th round

Mark "M.R." Riello (@MarksMarauders)

Profile: The commissioner. Owner of one ring as 2011 League Champion. Mark is the only person in the league to make the playoffs all 3 years. Lowest finish of 4th place. Generally always ends up with a good team. My current fantasy rival.

Personality: Big-time trash talker, extremely unpredictable, and usually the source of some hilariously bad grammar. Mark is also one of the funniest people I know and possesses an unhealthy knowledge and passion for sports, similar to my own.

Michael "Slim" Santini (@SantiniCrimeFam)

Profile: Owner/GM/Coach of "The Greatest Team That Never Was", his 2013 runner-up squad that featured Lesean McCoy, Jamaal Charles, AND Calvin Johnson, yet came up .75 points short of a championship. 

Personality: Basically the fantasy equivalent of Johnny Manziel. Along with me, Mike is arguably the most cocky (and hated) fantasy owner in the league. Firmly believes he will win the championship every year from now on after winning a playoff matchup by over 100 points last year.

Vincent "Vinny" Greco (@The_ScoobyDoos)

Profile: The model of mediocrity. Proud owner of consecutive 7-6 records and first round exits the past two years, Vinny is the Atlanta Hawks of our league. 

Personality: Always feeling like his team is really average, and then being not surprised at all when he finishes 7-6 and gets knocked out in the first round of the playoffs. Also among the many owners in the league who wants me to come in last more than they want to win the championship.

Christopher "Sauce" Apicella (@Saucetaryans)

Profile: Notably terrible the past two seasons, including one of the worst teams of all time last year, as evidenced by an 87-point week (the only double-digit week by anyone all year). The first year yielded  Chris a runner-up finish and holder of the record for best regular season record (11-2).

Personality: Ridiculously sarcastic, usually anything he says is not to be taken seriously. Known for posting smack talk on the weekly match-ups that don't make any sense whatsoever. Along with Mark, also one of the most creatively funny guys I know.

Kevin "K-Hy" Hylas (@UncleRico2k14)

Profile: Has missed the playoffs the past two years after finishing 3rd the first year. Might be the first person to ever own 3 Vikings players on the same team this year. Once drafted 3 Giants players in consecutive rounds.

Personality: Very outspoken, a frequent source of bold predictions. Kevin will always be remembered for trading Jamaal Charles, the #1 RB in fantasy last year, just weeks before he ran all over an Oakland defense that looked like it was on Rookie difficulty in Madden.

Kevin "Kay Why" Young (Too cool for a fantasy twitter)

Profile: Recently has risen up to "solid fantasy player" status after back-to-back 3rd place game appearances, with one 3rd place finish. President of the Andrew Luck Fan Club.

Personality: Essentially, he's Ricky Bobby. Insanely competitive, despises losing, and despises my fantasy teams even more. Direct quote from Kevin: "You have no idea how happy it would make me if you came in last this year".

Dominic "Dom" Greco (@the_Dominators5)

Profile: Brother of aforementioned Vinny Greco. Elicits no fear from anyone in the league, as the sight of Dom on your schedule as your next matchup is guaranteed to put a smile on your face. 

Made the playoffs for the first time last year before promptly getting manhandled in the first round.

Personality: The Rex Ryan of our league. Guarantees championships before every season despite having no tangible reason to do so. Very active trash talker who loves to pick fights with just about anyone.

George "G-Man" Green (Doesn't even have an actual twitter)

Profile: Respected fantasy player despite a subpar 6-7 season last year. 2nd and 5th place finishes in 2012 and 2011 respectively. Raiders fan who inexplicably picks Darren McFadden 5 rounds before anyone else would every year.

Personality: Our league's version of Taco from "The League", except more serious about fantasy and less of a pothead, homeless idiot. Never brags, thinks fantasy is 99% luck anyway, and once forgot to set his line-up. 

These are the 9 warriors whom I battle against from the first week of September to Christmas. Most pleasant memories of mine in some way involve one of these guys and fantasy football. And no other day of the year makes memories quite like Draft Day, which fell on August 19th this year. By 8:00, we had descended into Vinny's basement with nothing but a pen, some sheets of paper, possibly a laptop, and grandeur dreams of a championship in our minds. It was a day of laughs, disappointment, relief, countless "Good picks" uttered under one's breath, and, above all, hope for a successful fantasy football season.

If you are wondering why you have read this much without even seeing any mention of actual draft picks so far, it's because Draft Day's importance goes way beyond the selections. Draft Day is about the people who are sitting next to and across from you, anxiously hoping "their guy" doesn't get picked ahead of them. Draft Day brings people together like nothing else can. It's the ultimate obligation within any group of friends. ESPN Fantasy Guru Matthew Berry returns to his hometown of College Station, Texas every year for his fantasy baseball draft, a league he has participated in for 30 years. The bond fantasy football created among my friends will allow us to stay close as we all separate and head off to college. Without fantasy, I'm not sure how successful we would have been in staying in contact with each other. So, as I write this, alone in my new college dorm, unsure of what my future here in Philadelphia holds, I take comfort every day knowing I will always have my closest friends in my life at least in part thanks to fantasy football.

Good luck to all fantasy football players this upcoming season. Go Bills