Fantasy football, or the common football fan's dream of being a GM realized on a much smaller, less (or more) stressful level, has certainly become a sizable part of my life. From late June to mid-August every year, I religiously scour the Internet for any and all fantasy football news I can find. Any injury, depth chart shake-up, or incredible practice play is seen by my eyeballs and immediately analyzed as I prepare to pick 17 players to have a chance to have the best collection of players by week 16 of the regular season. I am fortunate enough to have won my league the past two years (follow my team @10AMinPhilly. Yes, my fantasy team does have a Twitter account), but excellence even in fantasy football isn't achieved entirely through luck. The work ethic I display in attaining the best possible team could probably end world hunger if applied properly. The culmination of all my research and obsessive reading of articles that contain the words "sleepers" and "breakout" is Draft Day, the single most hyped occasion in the life of a fantasy football player. The feeling of drafting your first-round pick is basically equivalent to what most people feel when watching the beginning of Pulp Fiction when the opening credits begin. Speaking of movies, they feature characters that make the plot interesting and engaging. My fantasy football league is no different. Meet the stars of the Stony Point Fantasy Football League (Follow on Twitter @SP Football. What, you thought it was just me who made Twitter accounts strictly for fantasy purposes?):
Dylan "The Big Guy" Mednick (@NOTORIOUSMAFIA1)
Profile: My brother, and current butt of every awful-at-fantasy joke in my league. Dylan has missed the playoffs the past two years after finishing the 4th the first year.
Personality: WAY TOO NICE. Constantly gets verbally abused for rooting for my team to win the championship last year, despite him being one of the teams I would beat on my way there. Is also really bad at trash talking and drafting running backs in the 4th round
Mark "M.R." Riello (@MarksMarauders)
Profile: The commissioner. Owner of one ring as 2011 League Champion. Mark is the only person in the league to make the playoffs all 3 years. Lowest finish of 4th place. Generally always ends up with a good team. My current fantasy rival.
Personality: Big-time trash talker, extremely unpredictable, and usually the source of some hilariously bad grammar. Mark is also one of the funniest people I know and possesses an unhealthy knowledge and passion for sports, similar to my own.
Michael "Slim" Santini (@SantiniCrimeFam)
Profile: Owner/GM/Coach of "The Greatest Team That Never Was", his 2013 runner-up squad that featured Lesean McCoy, Jamaal Charles, AND Calvin Johnson, yet came up .75 points short of a championship.
Personality: Basically the fantasy equivalent of Johnny Manziel. Along with me, Mike is arguably the most cocky (and hated) fantasy owner in the league. Firmly believes he will win the championship every year from now on after winning a playoff matchup by over 100 points last year.
Vincent "Vinny" Greco (@The_ScoobyDoos)
Profile: The model of mediocrity. Proud owner of consecutive 7-6 records and first round exits the past two years, Vinny is the Atlanta Hawks of our league.
Personality: Always feeling like his team is really average, and then being not surprised at all when he finishes 7-6 and gets knocked out in the first round of the playoffs. Also among the many owners in the league who wants me to come in last more than they want to win the championship.
Christopher "Sauce" Apicella (@Saucetaryans)
Profile: Notably terrible the past two seasons, including one of the worst teams of all time last year, as evidenced by an 87-point week (the only double-digit week by anyone all year). The first year yielded Chris a runner-up finish and holder of the record for best regular season record (11-2).
Personality: Ridiculously sarcastic, usually anything he says is not to be taken seriously. Known for posting smack talk on the weekly match-ups that don't make any sense whatsoever. Along with Mark, also one of the most creatively funny guys I know.
Kevin "K-Hy" Hylas (@UncleRico2k14)
Profile: Has missed the playoffs the past two years after finishing 3rd the first year. Might be the first person to ever own 3 Vikings players on the same team this year. Once drafted 3 Giants players in consecutive rounds.
Personality: Very outspoken, a frequent source of bold predictions. Kevin will always be remembered for trading Jamaal Charles, the #1 RB in fantasy last year, just weeks before he ran all over an Oakland defense that looked like it was on Rookie difficulty in Madden.
Kevin "Kay Why" Young (Too cool for a fantasy twitter)
Profile: Recently has risen up to "solid fantasy player" status after back-to-back 3rd place game appearances, with one 3rd place finish. President of the Andrew Luck Fan Club.
Personality: Essentially, he's Ricky Bobby. Insanely competitive, despises losing, and despises my fantasy teams even more. Direct quote from Kevin: "You have no idea how happy it would make me if you came in last this year".
Dominic "Dom" Greco (@the_Dominators5)
Profile: Brother of aforementioned Vinny Greco. Elicits no fear from anyone in the league, as the sight of Dom on your schedule as your next matchup is guaranteed to put a smile on your face.
Made the playoffs for the first time last year before promptly getting manhandled in the first round.
Personality: The Rex Ryan of our league. Guarantees championships before every season despite having no tangible reason to do so. Very active trash talker who loves to pick fights with just about anyone.
George "G-Man" Green (Doesn't even have an actual twitter)
Profile: Respected fantasy player despite a subpar 6-7 season last year. 2nd and 5th place finishes in 2012 and 2011 respectively. Raiders fan who inexplicably picks Darren McFadden 5 rounds before anyone else would every year.
Personality: Our league's version of Taco from "The League", except more serious about fantasy and less of a pothead, homeless idiot. Never brags, thinks fantasy is 99% luck anyway, and once forgot to set his line-up.
These are the 9 warriors whom I battle against from the first week of September to Christmas. Most pleasant memories of mine in some way involve one of these guys and fantasy football. And no other day of the year makes memories quite like Draft Day, which fell on August 19th this year. By 8:00, we had descended into Vinny's basement with nothing but a pen, some sheets of paper, possibly a laptop, and grandeur dreams of a championship in our minds. It was a day of laughs, disappointment, relief, countless "Good picks" uttered under one's breath, and, above all, hope for a successful fantasy football season.
If you are wondering why you have read this much without even seeing any mention of actual draft picks so far, it's because Draft Day's importance goes way beyond the selections. Draft Day is about the people who are sitting next to and across from you, anxiously hoping "their guy" doesn't get picked ahead of them. Draft Day brings people together like nothing else can. It's the ultimate obligation within any group of friends. ESPN Fantasy Guru Matthew Berry returns to his hometown of College Station, Texas every year for his fantasy baseball draft, a league he has participated in for 30 years. The bond fantasy football created among my friends will allow us to stay close as we all separate and head off to college. Without fantasy, I'm not sure how successful we would have been in staying in contact with each other. So, as I write this, alone in my new college dorm, unsure of what my future here in Philadelphia holds, I take comfort every day knowing I will always have my closest friends in my life at least in part thanks to fantasy football.
Good luck to all fantasy football players this upcoming season. Go Bills
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