Arrow Roulette

(Editor's Note: I was a witness to what you are about to read. This is all a 100% true story)

I’m sure most of you have heard of the "game" Russian Roulette, right? One bullet in the chamber, six pulls of the trigger, 5 of them result in a harmless *click*. The last one...well, you know.

It definitely all started with a couple Russian bastards on about their 37th shot of piss warm hard whiskey on a Tuesday evening. Then the one who finally felt a buzz pulled out his magnum. Big smiles all around. You know the rest of them got a little tingle in their stomachs at the sight of it. 

Okay now sub out those cold-blooded Russian sick fucks for a couple big shot bros whose balls didn’t drop very long ago and just watched a movie with with four (ir)responsible, cool ass family men playing a game of arrow roulette in the woods. I mean I wasn’t a bad ass (I tried just wasn’t bad ass enough) but fuck it, I wanted to be like the adults goddamnit. And of course, of fucking course, there’s a goddamn BOW AND ARROWS in the downstairs of the crib we’re in with max ammo. 

Already too late. 

The level of danger a compact bow presented to 4 middle class white kids who were all immediately picturing Orlando Bloom killing insane amounts of Orcs was immeasurable. It was un-comparable (shoutout to Slim). 

Things were bound to get fucked. And that it did. 

Everyone circles up, smirks plastered across our faces. Everyone knows as soon as that arrow launches into the air you’re supposed to be out. You're supposed to be a sensible human and act like a scared little boy. That's what you're supposed to do. 

Well kids, guess what: I. Didn't. Move.

The thought never crossed my mind. Those other kids all got degrees and I’m just here making these blogs. Makes sense. 

Back to the scene.

*Click*

The arrow is up and everyone else scrambles in a panic...everyone except me. And yeah don’t get me wrong I was absolutely just trying to flex on them. I was looking at the nerds with my mean mug on, holding my ground. It was genuine too. Because my dumbass was like, "This fuck can’t shoot an arrow accurately. That shit is a dud going 40 trees back." 

*Action* 

The arrow starts to take shape. Screams all around. 

"RIELLO GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?!" 

This should've been enough to make me realize I had to bail. However, today my insecurities and stubbornness would prevail. I continued to hold my ground. HAHAHAHAHAHA. I look up to the sky and suddenly see a gruesome death coming my way. It's happening. Tell Momma I love her. Next thing I know...*DINK*

Now look I know I’m a loudmouth who tends to overexagerate. I get it. But the real ones that day know that I was FOR REAL ONE FOOT AWAY from looking like a Game of Thrones casualty. If I took one step backwards before that arrow pierced the grass behind me, it would've been lights out for ya boy. Imagine, just fucking imagine the thing you try to be good at and flex your false alpha-ness is in a game where if you win you and actually stand your ground YOU MIGHT FUCKING DIE. 

Atta boy Riello keep them goals high and keep striving for greatness.