Well, the NFL had basically the exact opposite of that in week 2. A "week" in the NFL is Tuesday-Monday, therefore Tuesday, September 9 was the beginning of week 2 in the NFL. That day was dominated by heated discussions over Ray Rice and the now-infamous video, which was released to the public by TMZ the day before, of him punching then-fiancee Janay Palmer in the face. Various news outlets covered this story profusely, and prominent figures from across genres called for the heads of Rice, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, and anyone who is involved in making the NFL's domestic violence policy. The media shitstorm forced the NFL to suspend Ray Rice indefinitely, and led to his contract being immediately terminated by the Ravens.
Sounds like a bad week for the NFL, right? Well, it wasn't even close to being over. Next thing you know, reports begin surfacing about star running back Adrian Peterson beating his son with a switch, causing brutal-looking welts and lacerations. ADRIAN PETERSON! The same man who won MVP honors for his bionic 2012 season that saw him return from an ACL injury only to rush for the 2nd most yards ever! Before week 2, he, along with Peyton Manning, was essentially the poster boy for the NFL. And while all this is happening, Carolina Panthers DE Greg Hardy is barely getting talked about after he "threw her into a bathtub, tossed her on a futon covered with rifles, put his hands around her throat and threatened to kill her." That quote was from a report by the Charlotte Observer, but really this story was available and around for weeks now. That's how bad the situation was: a story involving choking, beds of rifles, and bathtubs not being used for cleansing went completely unnoticed.
5 Stars
All 6 Stripes
Awesome comebacks - Week 2 gave us some exciting come-from-behind wins, most notably by the Packers, Bears, and Eagles. Green Bay's game plan going into their matchup against the Jets was expected to be to exploit the Jets' uninspiring pass defense, stay the hell away from running the ball into that defensive line, and hope the defense doesn't implode. Safe to say they stuck to the script. The Rodgers-Nelson connection was about as good as its ever been on Sunday, with Jordy accounting for 209 of Rodgers 346 yards. Randall Cobb pitched in 2 TD's as well. The defense, meanwhile, was at least able to come away with a key interception at a point in the game where it sustained the Packer's momentum and allowed Rodgers to put up more points.
I still don't think anyone quite knows how the Bears came away with their W on Sunday night. Marshall went superhuman and caught 3 TD's despite not being penciled into the lineup until hours before kickoff, and the defense, led by rookie Kyle Fuller, picked off Kaepernick 3 times and generally made him uncomfortable and ineffective. Those seem like the likely reasons, but really the Bears just found themselves on the winning side of a pretty wacky game, at least from a viewers' perspective.
The Eagles's comeback win was probably the most unlikely and impressive of the three. Chip Kelly's squad went into Indy, home of Andrew the Giant, and took them down despite a rather poor showing by Nick Foles. Luckily, Darren Sproles is 5'6" and half the Colts' defense was unable to see him whenever he shuffled across the field like a loose rat. That's the only way to explain what he did to Indy Monday night, right? Sproles (an incredible 34.30 SP) has clearly become an integral part of the Eagles offense, and his skill set is perfect to help Foles as he has overthrown more open receivers through two games than he did all last season. McCoy and Sproles easily form the most dynamic RB duo in the league, and if/when Foles gets his issues worked out, the Eagles offense might reach a whole new level of Holy Shit.
4 Stars
3 Stripes
The City of Buffalo - Gotta be the happiest storyline from a week that will be otherwise known as among the most grim in NFL history. The past 7 days were about as joyous as it gets for the people of Buffalo. It all started with news that Buffalo Sabres owner Terry Pegula's bid to purchase the Bills was approved, meaning Buffalo will get to keep their beloved Bills. Then, word spread that Hall of Fame QB and Buffalo hero Jim Kelly was officially cancer-free and scheduled to be in attendance to the Bills home opener . And top that off with a dominant 29-10 smacking of the Dolphins on Sunday in front of an emotional, raucous crowd. From a purely football standpoint, the Bills looked excellent in all facets of the game on Sunday. The defense was its usual aggressive and stifling self, QB E.J. Manuel had no turnovers, the O-Line gave up 0 sacks to a Miami pass rush that I was raving about just last week, 1st-round pick Sammy Watkins had his coming out party with 8 catches for 117 yards (21.70 SP...on my bench), and even Buffalo's special teams made a huge contribution by way of C.J. Spiller's 102-yard kickoff return TD and a recovered fumble by the Bills after the Dolphins' punt returner muffed the ball. So to recap, the Bills are 2-0, first in the AFC East, staying in Buffalo, and will be playing this entire season in honor of recently deceased owner Ralph Wilson. Yeah, good week for Buffalo.
2 Stripes
Demarco Murray - I can't say I'm surprised that Murray is dominating the way he is, but I am slightly surprised that the Cowboys finally realized their best course is to tread lightly, I mean feed him the rock as much as possible (sorry about that, couldn't resist). Through two weeks, Murray is leading the NFL in yards, is 2nd in carries, and 8th in YPC. The dude simply can't be stopped right now, and the Cowboys have to be hoping he never will be as Romo and the defense don't seem to be capable of winning games by themselves right now. I'll give credit to the Big D's D against the Titans on Sunday, but I doubt giving up 10 points will become a trend for this team. Back to Murray though, it's not even like he's just ripped off a huge run or two in both games. He's consistently churning out 8-11 yard rushes and causing multiple defenders to miss every series. With Peterson questionable to play every game the rest of the year, and Jamaal Charles banged up, I wouldn't be surprised to see Demarco lead the league in rushing by the end of the season.
1 Stripe
Austin Davis - I can't even tell you the last time an undrafted, third-string quarterback led his team to a win via a 4th-quarter, game-winning drive before Davis did this very thing on Sunday. On the other hand, the Buccaneers had to have become the first team in a while to lose their first two games at home to backup quarterbacks. Although no one is confusing Austin Davis with Tom Brady, the guy showed some major poise for someone passed up by literally every team in the NFL for 3 straight days in April. Davis posted an efficient 76% completion percentage, committed zero turnovers, and, most importantly, didn't lose the game for the Rams, in simplest terms. The Rams' defense was back to its ferocious self after an uncharacteristically bad week 1, and the ground game led the way with 119 yards and a touchdown. Davis may not be getting picked up by many fantasy teams as a result of his performance on Sunday, but I'm guessing he will take real-life winning, and a starting gig, over flashy stats any day.
3 Stars
3 Stripes
Mohamed Sanu - Sanu was forced to step up when A.J. Green left the game with an injury, and he certainly did, finishing with 84 yards and a score, with 76 of those coming on one long TD catch-and-sprint to the end zone. If you take a closer look at the Bengals box score, though, you'll notice that Sanu also attempted and completed one pass for 50 yards, becoming the first player since 2001 to throw a 50 yard pass and have a 75+ yard catch in the same game. Sanu is now 3 for 3 for 148 passing yards and a TD in his career. Makes you wonder who head coach Marvin Lewis would bring in to replace Dalton if he ever got injured...
2 Stripes
The San Diego Chargers - Some of you (probably located in Southern California) may be thinking this is not enough stars or stripes for the Chargers, who knocked the Seattle Seahawks off their lofty perch by beating them 30-21. Well, you do indeed have a solid case for thinking I'm an idiot, but the reason I have them at this slot is because the Chargers are a really good football team, and the Seahawks are just "really good" when they are away from Century Link Field. San Diego played that game exactly how they wanted to play it, converting 3rd downs at will and possessing the ball for a ridiculous 40:45 compared to Seattle's 16:11. Gates and Rivers's performances made it seem like 2009, and the defense prevented Beast Mode from running rampant on them. You combine all those elements I mentioned, and the Seahawks become pretty beatable. I do not at all mean to take away from the magnitude of the Chargers' win; it was still extremely impressive. However, it's not like it shocked me either.
1 Stripe
Kirk Cousins and Niles Paul - Any preseason hype that surrounded the Washington professional football team most likely centered around RG3 and his multitude of weapons, especially dynamic tight end Jordan Reed, who was expected to have a breakout year as Griffin's security blanket, in the same way Jason Witten has always been to Tony Romo and Antonio Gates has always been to Phillip Rivers. Well, that plan didn't work out so well, now did it? Reed checked out early into their first game after he pulled his hamstring attempting a hurdle, and I think by now everyone knows about the non-contact-dislocated-ankle-heard-'round-the-world. So in steps backups Kirk Cousins and Niles Paul, and suddenly, the fireworks begin. Some have attributed the pair's success on Sunday to their chemistry from working with each other on the second-team all the time in practice, but there's no way anyone expected that. Cousins went 22-33 with 250 yards and 2 touchdowns, while Paul exploded for 8 catches, 99 yards, and a TD. Both will certainly become prime waiver-wire pick-ups this week, and, frankly, deservedly so.
2 Stars
3 Stripes
The Detroit Lions' offense - This unit probably performed badly enough to deserve less stripes, or even only 1 star. I give them a small pass, however, because the main culprit for their subpar outing was the truly phenomenal defense of the Carolina Panthers. That being said, I am disappointed in the effort that the Lions put forth on Sunday. Even the biggest Stafford critics were applauding his developed mechanics and improve decision-making last week after he tore apart the Giants (I will get to the G-Men in a little bit). Come week 2, however, and Stafford is back to his 50-something completion percentages, head-slapping heaves, and unnecessary sack-taking. His alien friend Megatron can't really shoulder much of the blame because, well, he never had less than 2 Panthers in his grill at any moment in the game. The running game was putrid, as neither Joique Bell nor Reggie Bush could provide Detroit with any type of spark carrying the football. Bell also coughed the ball up once, something you just absolutely can't do against a defense of Carolina's caliber. Underwhelming performance all-around.
2 Stripes
Tennessee Titans' pregame music selection - My vote for the most unintentionally offensive story from week 2 has to go to the Tennessee Titans' decision to play "Fight Night Remix" in the stadium about 35 minutes before kickoff, RIGHT IN THE MIDST OF A LEAGUE-WIDE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE EPIDEMIC. The song just isn't appropriate to be played at NFL games right now, with lyrics that sound a little too much like an endorsement for assault against females. Here are said lyrics: "Hit it with the left, hit it with the right, I'm a knock the pussy out like fight night. Beat it with the left, beat it with the right, I'm a knock the pussy out like fight night." See what I'm saying. Poor judgment by the Titans' in-stadium sound crew. Get that fixed like ASAP Rocky before you get the National Organization for Women on your asses. That's my suggestion anyway.
1 Stripe
The Vikings' Offense without AP - It's just brutal. I almost feel like the Vikings should receive the ball at midfield every drive. Give them a chance to at least get into field goal range. I know Peterson can't be out there, but it's a disservice to Vikings fans to make them watch whatever the hell that was that got obliterated by the Patriots on Sunday. On the bright side, "Teddy" chants have officially begun!
TEDDY!
TEDDY!
TEDDY!
Makes me feel better just typing it. You'll be OK, Vikings. Just hang in there.
1 Star
3 Stripes
The New Orleans Saints outside of the friendly confines of the Mercedes-Benz Superdome - How can it be possible that they are still this bad on the road? Week 1 they got their annual extra dome game, and they still somehow made Steven Jackson look like a functioning running back. So week 2 comes along, and the Saints go outdoors and face the Browns in Cleveland, and I think you can guess what happened. They looked like a shell of the unstoppable offense we see 8 times a year in New Orleans! Try practicing outside or something! Is Sean Payton oblivious to his team's one glaring weakness or is he just the most stubborn man of all time? Either way, the Saints are 0-2, and that is unacceptable. No team with Drew Brees playing QB should ever have 2 less wins than losses. Lucky for the Saints that not only are they finally making their home debut week 3, but it's against the Vikings, which will probably end up being a 52-14 game or something like that. Also working in the Saints favor is the incredibly fortunate schedule quirk that has the Saints not playing outdoors again until week 9, and then only 3 more times after that for the rest of the season. So the coaches and players got 7 weeks to figure out how to play football in actual weather. Really doesn't seem like too tall of a task to me.
2 Stripes
The New York Football Giants - Drew Stanton? Really Giants? You couldn't beat a team led by Drew Stanton. I wouldn't even know where to go from here if I were Tom Coughlin. He and his immortal cherry red nose must pull off a miracle to get this ship righted. Manning doesn't look any more comfortable in Bob McAdoo's new offense than he did in week 1, Victor Cruz is leading the league in drops with 4, the running game has averaged 2 and 3 yards per carry in their first and second games respectively, and although the defense fared slightly better against the Cardinals then it did against the Lions, it was against Drew freaking Stanton, who didn't even give the ball over to the Giants once. Either Eli has to start firing up some Eli faces that we've never seen before, or Antrel Rolle needs to stumble upon some ancient magic spell that makes his irrationally large nose-ears combo cause everyone around him to drastically get worse at football with just its presence. It's one or the other Giants, your decision.
1 Stripe
Injuries - I am fully aware that they are "part of the game", but they really do blow. I gotta run through them all right now just to give you an understanding of the merciless nature of week 2 on our fantasy teams. A.J. Green, Jamaal Charles, Knowshon Moreno, Ryan Mathews, and Mark Ingram were just a couple prominent skill position players who went down with various injuries and will be out for at least one week each (with Green the likeliest to only miss one game, and Moreno, Mathews and Ingram all expected to miss at least one month). Defensive standouts like All-Pro DT Gerald McCoy, S Eric Berry and CB Charles Tillman will miss significant stretches of time. Tillman actually is likely out for the season, while McCoy (broken hand) and Berry's (sprained ankle) absences are currently unknown. Vernon Davis and Desean Jackson both got banged up pretty badly, but could possibly still suit up next week. Finally, Robert Griffin the Third went down with a dislocated ankle, thus possibly ending his chances at being a franchise quarterback that an owner and GM feel comfortable building around. Also, there's a decent possibility that Kirk Cousins may run Griffin's spot while he's out, leading some to wonder if a trip to the trade block might follow his time on the Inactive list. No matter what his NFL future holds, I will always remember how dynamic he was for two calendar years from his Heisman-winnning senior season at Baylor to his Rookie of the Year campaign in his debut NFL season. A talent like Griffin most likely won't come again for a while, as not even Marcus Mariota can match Griffin's track-star-speed-and-cannon-for-an-arm abilities. Get well soon, Robert, hope that you will be able to light up defenses on an NFL field again when your healthy. The league is simply better with you out there being a superstar.
Week 2 SP Football Standings
Week 2 SP Football Standings
- What are the chances - 2-0
- Krazy Kevs - 1-1
- Notorious M.A.F.I.A. - 1-1
- 10 AM in Philly - 1-1
- Marks Marauders - 1-1
- Scooby Doos - 1-1
- #SantiniCrimeFamily - 1-1
- TuckerRightInThePusy - 1-1
- The Uncle Ricos - 1-1
- The Dominators - 0-2
Find week-to-week results from our fantasy league on Twitter @SPFanFootball
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