3 Stripes
If it's alright with you guys, I'm going to supplant my usual opening section by having another all-encompassing 5 star performance: the Washington Professional Football Team-Eagles game from this past week.
Being in Philadelphia, it was naturally the game that was being televised when I flipped to FOX at 1:00. I didn't quite know what to expect of this contest, with it being Kirk Cousins' first game as the new face of the ***skins (I really wish it weren't so, but he's here to stay. Sorry RG3 fanatics) and Desean Jackson's return to Lincoln Financial Field. Nonetheless, I was excited just to watch my boy/4th round fantasy pick Alfred Morris run wild on an undermanned Eagles defense (LB Mychal Kendricks was out).
Unfortunately for me, I did not get to see that, as Alf ran for just 77 yards on 23 carries. Instead, I was treated to an absolute shootout between 2 magnetic quarterbacks and their loaded offenses. Now, usually when a quarterback is described as magnetic, they are either proven, elite quarterbacks with charismatic personalities (Rodgers, Peyton, Brady) or they are electrifying dual-threat quarterbacks who make plays with their legs just as much as their arm (Cam, Griffin pre-knee destruction, Kaepernick). Well, Kirk Cousins and Nick Foles don't really fall into either of those categories, now do they? How then, can they still be described as "magnetic"? It's simple, really. On Sunday, these two guys were fearless gunslingers who constantly were looking to make the biggest play possible, with varied results. This made for some great entertainment for a neutral viewer such as myself.
There was one throw in particular where Cousins inexplicably tried fitting a ball into double coverage along the sideline. When viewed from Cousins' perspective, it truly does not look like Pierre Garcon is open at all. It looks like a guaranteed incompletion, possibly even an interception. Despite this, our gallant young passer somehow places the ball in the exact spot it needed to be so that only Garcon would have an opportunity to make a play on the ball, and of course, he sure did. There were some other throws that were just plain fun to see him wind back and release, like another downfield strike to Garcon in between two defenders, as well as a well-placed deep ball to Niles Paul. It wasn't all high-risk passes to unopen receivers, though. Cousins' bomb to Desean was obviously a no-doubter considering he had at least a step on the safety, but I like to think that Cousins was going to launch it downfield no matter what the coverage was. You can see all of Cousins' best passes from an afternoon where he put up 46.85 SP here.
Meanwhile, Nick Foles was sensational chucking the football all around the field, but his toughness is what infinitely earned my respect. That dude took an extraordinary beating on Sunday, including an uncalled-for cheap shot from Redskins DE Chris Baker that knocked Foles on his ass. After every crushing hit, however, Foles got right back up and moved on to the next play, partly to exhibit his leadership and partly because Chip Kelly probably would have benched him if he didn't snap the ball in the next 4 seconds.
Contrary to what you may believe, we really don't get true shootouts featuring exceptional quarterback play from both teams like this too often at all. Therefore, I appreciated what I was watching for the entire 4 quarters. By the time the game ended, I felt like I just watched a game concocted by the NFL in a lab that allowed viewers like me to remember why we love football so much in the midst of all the negative attention the game has been receiving over the past two weeks. I found myself immersed in the joys of watching this great sport, perfectly able to block out all the lingering issues associated with the NFL. For 3 and a half hours, I was just watching football, in the simplest, basic form that those two words can mean. And I gotta say, it was great.
4 Stars
3 Stripes
The Cincinnati Bengals - Is it actually correct to say Marvin Lewis' squad has been the best team in football over the first 3 weeks of the season? Wow, how long has it been since someone was able to say that? Straight up, the Bengals have no mercy for their opponents, and, especially their past two games. they have made their dominance look almost effortless. Gio Bernard is, along with Le'veon Bell, the top young running back in the league, Jeremy Hill looks like a future star at running back as well, A.J. Green may be from outer space, and that defense is just as ferocious as it ever was, with their insanely deep secondary terrorizing quarterbacks. Andy Dalton may never be a top 10 quarterback, but with the weapons he has around him, plus the fact that he's rarely playing from behind, allows him to perfect his role as the ultimate game-manager who is terrific at putting his playmakers in the best positions to succeed. Also, he has more touchdown receptions than all the Chiefs' wide receivers combined! Cincinnati has a bye week 4, and then week 5 they get the Patriots at Foxboro. If they can take down the Pats on the road, I think it would be safe to consider them a legitimate threat to the Broncos' stranglehold of the AFC.
2 Stripes
Rashad Jennings - Just one week after the Giants placed in my "1 Star" category, one of their best offensive players was able to jump 3 sections to this very spot. Jennings was sensational on Sunday, carving up a stout Texans defense for 176 yards on an obscene 34 carries. Jennings' strong performance opened up the passing game for Eli Manning, who was uncharacteristically super-efficient, at least based on his last 18 games. Back to Jennings, though, who was a career backup for his first 5 years in the league before coming over to the New York Football Giants to be their workhorse. Many questioned whether or not he could produce consistently enough to warrant that title. Consider those questions answered after Sunday's performance. Honestly, anyone who runs for 176 yards on a J.J. Watt-led defense should be inducted into the Hall of Fame immediately following the game. In all seriousness, Jennings seems to be quite comfortable in his new role and will help the Giants immensely as they look to build upon their 30-point performance against the Texans for their next game as well as the rest of the season.
1 Stripe
The New York Jets' Run Defense - Simply put, it's ridiculous. Through 3 games, the Jets are allowing an average of 55.0 yards-per-game on the ground, with opponents carrying the ball at a clip of 2.84 YPC. Like I said, RIDICULOUS. The stingiest run defense of all time was the legendary 2000 Baltimore Ravens, who gave up 60.6 yards-per-game, had a 2.7 YPC against them, and only saw five rushing touchdowns scored on them all season. In other words, the Jets are on a pretty historic pace through 3 games. Of course, it is extremely difficult to keep up with those 2000 Ravens (that's why they hold the record), but I would not be surprised if the Jets are, say, only 5 or so yards-per-game off the pace by the last quarter of the season. If anyone can do it, it's these Jets. Led by a front line of Muhammad Wilkerson (6-4, 315), Sheldon Richardson (6-3, 294), and Desmond "Snacks" Harrison (6-4, 350!), the Jets' run D is suffocating, as evidenced by their performances against some of the top running backs in the league already this year. On Monday, Matt Forte was bottled up all night, rushing for just 33 yards on 13 carries, and Eddie Lacy was only able to manage 43 yards in Week 2. However, Week 1 was by far the Jets' most impressive performance. Although no one is confusing Darren McFadden and Maurice Jones-Drew for Eric Dickerson and Craig James during their SMU days, there is really no disputing that both are serviceable NFL running backs. Well, I guess the Jets can after they held the duo to 13 carries for 26 yards! That stat pretty much speaks for itself. Long live Snacks.
3 Stars
3 Stripes
Johnny Manziel's 37-yard Trick Play Reception That Got Called Back Because of a Penalty - #JohnnyMegatron was trending on Twitter shortly after this play occurred, which is amazing. Manziel's unlikely almost-contribution to the Browns' heartbreaking 23-21 defeat at the hands of the Ravens is certainly not how a former Heisman-winning quarterback should be used on an NFL field, even if the QB can't throw. That being said, how exciting was it to see JFF with the ball in his hands again?!?! Say what you will about the guy off the field, he is absolutely thrilling to watch play football. My favorite part about this play is that at the start of it, Manziel and a couple Browns coaches were engaged in a fake-argument, you know, to help make it all look authentic! How great is that fact? The Browns decided that to make a play with Johnny Manziel not taking the snap as the QB seem completely normal, there must be a pretend-verbal altercation between Manziel and whoever is telling him to play out-of-position. Eventually, Brian Hoyer will prove he's not the man for the unenviable job of Browns QB, and Manziel will step in to lead the city of Cleveland to glory with Josh Gordon at his side (starting in week 11). For now, though, we must settle for these types of Manziel sightings, which are, in a way, nearly as special.
2 Stripes
The Unlikely Emergence of Joe McKnight in Kansas City - Who saw that shit coming? McKnight, a former five-star recruit and 4th round pick of the New York Jets, has "enjoyed" a pretty disappointing career thus far in his 5 years in the NFL. Expected to be a dynamic home-run threat at running back and returner, McKnight has toiled away on the bench instead. That all changed when he exploded for 64 receiving yards and 2 touchdowns for the Chiefs in their rout of the Miami Dolphins on Sunday. It seems that 'Ol Andy Reed was able to harness McKnight's 4.4 speed by exclusively utilizing him in the passing game where he can catch the ball and use his natural playmaking ability to rack up some yardage. Although its highly improbable McKnight will sustain that type of production once Jamaal Charles comes back (he probably wouldn't have even if Charles didn't come back), just receiving any contribution from McKnight is at the very least a solid defense for Chiefs GM John Dorsey when he is eventually pleading for his job later in the year. Oops, did I just reveal that I don't think the Chiefs are very good despite their win on Sunday? Oh, sorry, I guess I did.
1 Stripe
The Cowboys-Rams game - Probably the most underrated interesting game from this past week. St. Louis held a 21-10 lead at halftime, prompting talks of Austin Davis working toward making Rams fans forget the name "Sam Bradford" and of the Cowboys, well, doing Cowboys things. Romo was underwhelming, the defense was pathetic, and the city of Dallas was going to burn down as a result. The second half was a different story for the Pride of Jerry Jones, however, as Romo started to catch fire after a 68-yard TD to Dez Bryant in the third quarter and then later, LB Bruce Carter took a Davis interception for six with 6 minutes left in the game. Suddenly the Cowboys were up 10 points and the defense was actually preventing the Rams from putting up points (imagine that?). Dallas' improbable comeback was completed when much-maligned former 1st-round pick Morris Claiborne sealed the victory with an interception as the Rams were attempting a game-winning two-minute drill. It would not have surprised anyone if the Cowboys found a way to lose that game, but instead they pulled it out. I have to give props to Austin Davis though, the guy is no scrub. Also, Janoris Jenkins is a stud.
2 Stars
3 Stripes
The NFL Debuts of Blake Bortles and Teddy Bridgewater - I don't mean this like they were awful or anything. They were both rookie quarterbacks making their first ever regular season appearances, I didn't expect anything that great. However, I was not pleased with the manner in which they made their debuts. Let's start with Teddy, who entered the Vikings week 3 contest against the Saints in the second quarter. The reason Bridgewater was forced to trade in his clipboard for a football was because Matt Cassel apparently "suffered multiple fractures in his foot." Is it just me, or wouldn't the sight of Cassel being booed off the field by the sparse Vikings fans who made the trip to New Orleans, only for those boos to quickly turn to cheers as those same Vikings fans saw Bridgewater jog onto the field have been so much better? Regardless, the Bridgewater era in Minnesota is finally here. Good luck running an offense built around Adrian Peterson and Kyle Rudolph that's missing Adrian Peterson and Kyle Rudolph. As for Bortles, what was going on with this pass? Honestly, Jags fans probably won't even notice any interception Bortles throws this entire season just because they will be blinded by hope for the first time since Justin Blackmon (yeah, Blackmon references in back-to-back posts. I miss that lovable pothead) had the most dominant performance by a WR in Jacksonville Jaguar history (did you see the stats from that game?!?! Schuab had 527 yards and 5 TD's!!! Never doubt the Jaguars ability to make people look way better than they are). Back to Bortles, he had 2 picks in the 2 mediocre quarters he played on Sunday, and Jags fans couldn't be happier.
2 Stripes
2nd Half Colin Kaepernick - What an enigmatic character. Kaep has that type of mesmerizing throwing and running talent that makes you want to name your first son Colin and teach him to kiss his bicep before he says his first word. However, he has a list of criticisms so long you would think he was a presidential candidate being ripped apart by the opposing party. What I'm trying to say, whether you love him or hate him, is the guy drives you crazy. I happen to be a big Kaep fan, but I'm also not a 49ers fan, so I usually just focus on his positive plays instead of the head-scratching, frustratingly stupid ones that have been popping up this season in particular. Through 3 games, Kaep, and by extension the entire Niners offense, has had a strangely difficult time in the 2nd halves of games. In 6 second half quarters compared to 6 first half quarters, he is averaging one less yard per attempt, has been sacked 5 times to 1, and thrown 0 touchdowns and 2 interceptions to 4 touchdowns and only 1 pick in first halves, all resulting in a QB rating of 70.2 compared to 111.7. There really isn't a concrete reason for this, but it has cost the 49ers wins in their past two games against the Bears and Cardinals. Whatever issues he's having closing out close games, he must fix them soon. The 49ers are 1-2 and, being in the brutal NFC West, have little margin for error. Kaepernick must turn around his 2nd half woes or else we may not see those garnet and gold 49ers jerseys on the field come January.
1 Stripe
E.J. Manuel's Downfield Passes - They're pretty sickening to watch. Take this throw to an open Sammy Watkins, for example. It's a fluttering mess of a pass that bounces at Watkins' feet and results in an incompletion. Virtually any other NFL quarterback is perfectly capable of hitting Watkins in stride, or at least just in his upper body, allowing Watkins to then use his surreal athleticism to pick up additional yards after the catch. Not E.J. though. Bills RB Fred Jackson is currently tied for the team lead in receptions with 13, demonstrating how conservative Manuel is and how often he checks down. Fans and pundits alike have been calling for the Bills to open up their offense more for weeks now so that if the running game isn't necessarily humming, Buffalo isn't automatically down 2 possessions by halftime. The conundrum, as we saw, is that E.J. is not very good at completing passes that travel through the air for more than 10-15 yards. When asked about E.J.'s problems with accuracy, head coach Doug Marrone actually responded, "There's no problem with E.J. Manuel's accuracy." Maybe he's talking about a different E.J. Manuel, because the one I'm watching looks terrified to attempt any difficult pass for fear of being benched in favor of this guy. Manuel has the size, arm strength, and leadership qualities necessary to be a successful quarterback. It just seems like, on game day, everything doesn't quite all come together. E.J. only has 13 career starts under his belt, so I guess there is still time for him to improve, but the Bills are trying, desperately I might add, to make the playoffs and that goal simply can not be accomplished unless E.J. contributes more to the offense.
1 Star
The Ever-Apparent Fact that the NFL Has Like 4 Too Many Teams - This rant I'm about to go on deserves the entire "1 Star" section. Over the past 10 seasons, the Lions, Browns, Bills, Raiders, Jaguars, and Rams have been pretty awful. Those 6 teams have a combined THREE playoff appearances since 2005, with Jacksonville somehow having 2 of those. These 6 franchises have consistently been the epitome of futility and disgrace in the past decade.
Now, I'm not saying that I believe these teams specifically should simply be discontinued as NFL squads, all I'm arguing is that it is crystal-fucking-clear that there is not enough good players to spread around to 32 teams, leaving 3-4 teams every year looking overmatched and hopeless. This year, those teams appear to be the Raiders, Buccaneers, and Jaguars, although Oakland may not be quite as pathetic as the latter two, but close enough to it that they belong in this conversation. Tampa Bay never even made the trip to Atlanta in their 56-14 demolition at the hands of the Falcons, the Jaguars have been outscored 119-44 through 3 games, and the Raiders have crossed the goal line just 4 times so far this season. Besides the three annual punching bags, there will also be mediocre teams that are clearly getting bogged down by subpar, backup-worthy QB play (a natural occurrence due to my theory that there are only 15 QB's present in the league at any one point in time that are capable of winning the Super Bowl. Don't worry, this will be the topic of a future post). Those teams in 2014 are the Texans, Rams, and the entire AFC East besides the Patriots (although Brady doesn't look too great so far either). The NFL's most recent expansions (the addition of the Texans in 2002, the re-activation of the Cleveland Browns in 1999, and the Jaguars and Panthers in 1995) have clearly diluted the talent pool in the NFL, resulting in those unfortunate bottom-dwellers rendered helpless to the more talented teams in the league.
The NFL will never cut down the number of teams in the league, because that would make no sense financially. I'm fully aware of this. However, this means that the cycle of 4 unlucky franchises and their fans being forced to suffer through agonizing seasons over and over again for 10-year stretches will continue forever. Or, at least until football no longer exists.
Sp football Standing through Week 3:
- What are the chances - 3-0
- Marks Marauders - 2-1
- Notorious M.A.F.I.A. - 2-1
- #SantiniCrimeFamily - 2-1
- The Uncle Ricos - 2-1
- Krazy Kevs - 1-2
- TuckerRightInThePusy - 1-2
- 10 AM in Philly - 1-2
- Scooby Doos - 1-2
- The Dominators - 0-3
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