No CFB Preview, no shoutouts, no NFL recap. I disappeared this week. I let my loyal readers who can be counted one two hands down, and for that I sincerely apologize. To resolve the issue of me not completing any posts on Sunday-Tuesday the past couple weeks, I have decided to change up my schedule of weekly posts. I will continue with my CFB previews each Friday; the lack of one last week was an outlier. In regards to my Shoutouts and NFL Recap posts, I will now combine the two to form a Weekend Football Recap post that will come out every Monday. Half NFL, half college. I think this system should work well. I'm glad I got this opportunity to clear things up, and I hope a week-long absence like that doesn't happen again. Onto fantasy stuff.
We are officially at the midway point of the 2014 fantasy season! Congratulations to all that are .500 or above and looking strong for the playoffs, and to all those who have begrudgingly realized that it's just not their year (like me), it's OK. I feel your pain.
Looking ahead to Week 7, I'd like to dedicate most of this post to my fantasy league, then of course I will run through some actual fantasy material at the end. In the SPFFL, Week 7 means only one thing: Rivarly Week. RW is a time-honored institution in our league, known for its exceptional roster-bashing and creative smack talk. RW is an absolute must-win game, especially if your rival is someone who talks a lot of shit.
SP Football's greatest rivalry, Kevin "KY" Young's Krazy Kevs vs. George Green's What are the chances, has sadly been laid to rest by an increasingly unpopular, experimental decision among the owners to randomize the rivalries for this year. The origins of this change was the overwhelming opposition to me and my brother being "rivals" when all my brother did last year was root for me to win. KY and George's enthusiasm in hurling the most vulgar insults at each other for 7 days in the middle of the fantasy calendar was probably the most cherished league-wide tradition for the past 3 years.
With the rivalry on hold for at least this year, the new torch-carrier is the Mike Santini-Dylan Mednick rivalry. As my team tanks away the rest of the season, essentially sapping my rivalry week of any importance, Mike's squad (at 2-4) NEEDS a win to stay in the playoff hunt. Dylan is sitting comfortably in 2nd place with a 5-1 record. Fortunately for us as a league, Mike is extremely passionate at peppering Dylan with obscene, violent remarks. His catchphrase might as well be "Fuck you Dylan". While not very good at reciprocating that type of playful hatred, Dylan is extremely confident in his fantasy team and usually replies by simply saying he's going to destroy him, or something like that. When he's on though, Mike's venomous, completely non-serious barbs directed at Dylan are something of a work of art. I do not have any direct quotes on hand, but most involve defecation.
The heart of Rivalry Week's significance lies in the comments seen on the Smack Talk board located in each matchup. Our league's king of the hilarious and weird is none other than Chris "Sauce" Apicella, owner of TuckerRightInThePusy. Though many have tried, no one can quite figure out how the hell the kid comes up with the shit that he puts on there. Sauce takes the words "random", "nonsensical", and "outlandish" to a whole other level. I do have examples of his best work just from this season. Enjoy:
"Antonio Fences is Antonio Gates' closeted homosexual doppelgänger"
"Drew Brees shreds the lions asshole harder than a planet wings appetizer followed by a taco bell dinner"
"Dirty Martellus and the boys"
"James and the giant cock"
"Foster's Home for Imaginary Cock"
"Who Framed Roger Cock"
"Bridget Jones' Cock"
"Roethlisberger with no pickles or onions and a Forte oz. Budweiser to go" (more clever than his usual brand of downright batshit crazy)
"I'll take 'Gostkowski's Shlong' for 600 Alex"
"Giovani Bernard boyfriend dies and costs mark the game"
"Who the fuck names their white child Jordy?"
"Keenan Allen will call his uncle Tim Allen who is both Santa and a home improver therefore he will have a great house to live in on Christmas so dom wins"
"Matt Ryan will be set on fire before this season is over"
Long live Smack Talk.
The 2014 season as a whole has been a fairly interesting one. First round running backs have yielded largely disappointing results, as Lesean McCoy, Jamaal Charles, and Eddie Lacy have underperformed, while AP...well, you know the deal there. 2nd round running backs like Demarco Murray, Gio Bernard, and Marshawn Lynch are carrying teams, and George got the biggest steal of the draft by taking Josh Gordon, who will return in Week 12 as the best receiver in the league with Megatron banged up and ineffective, in the 9th round. Like he even needs Gordon: George's What are the chances squad is in 1st place with a 5-1 record, led by studs Aaron Rodgers, Demarco Murray, Steve Smith, and Julius Thomas. As a result of this top-of-the-draft wackiness, owners who did not go RB in the 1st have been largely successful thus far. The three owners who took Aaron Rodgers, Peyton Manning, and Demaryius Thomas are a combined 13-5.
I am the unfortunate dumbass who made Lacy the face of his franchise. It's been frustrating to say the least (I'm 1-5). Lacy, along with Zac Stacy, Percy Harvin, and Torrey Smith, have dismantled my season, along with injuries to A.J. Green and Jordan Reed. Not to mention I drafted RG3 in the 8th round. I was able to grab Matt Ryan, who has been a competent starter, but definitely a back-end QB1 in a 10-team league. 2014 has not been kind to the 2-time defending champ.
Regardless, I still pour my heart into my fantasy team each and every week, as do my leaguemates. There's nothing we would rather do with our autumn Sundays. The 2nd half of the season should be even crazier, as four teams are currently tied for the last playoff spot. Who knows, maybe I'll even make a push for that 6th seed (no, I will not; I'm starting Jonathan Stewart this week). We wait all winter, spring, and summer for the season to start every year, and now that it's already halfway over, I'm making sure to enjoy every week just as much as always. Even if I am in dead last.
Sp Football Standings through Week 6:
- What are the chances - 5-1 (909.25 Points For)
- Notorious M.A.F.I.A. - 5-1 (854.55)
- Marks Marauders - 4-2 (880.45)
- Scooby Doos - 4-2 (790.80)
- The Uncle Ricos - 3-3 (731.90)
- Krazy Kevs - 2-4 (836.85)
- #SantiniCrimeFamily (810.35)
- TuckerRightInThePusy - 2-4 (803.85)
- The DOMinators - 2-4 (759.60)
- 10 AM in Philly - 1-5 (740.90)
Actual Fantasy Advice:
I may be 1-5, but I am still pretty confident that I know how to spot a good fantasy producer before it happens. I did start Jerick McKinnon Week 4 against the Falcons when he was still a largely-unowned backup. He went off for 138 total yards (19.50 SP) on just 19 touches. I did start Delanie Walker in Week 2 when he exploded for 31.20 SP when he was only being started by 26% of Yahoo fantasy owners. So I still have some skills, just the luck side hasn't come through for me this year like it has in the past.
That being said, I'm also not claiming that I'm some sort of fantasy prophet either. I analyze stats and match-ups just like anyone else does, and I give you my honest opinions. So without further ado, here are my suggested under-the-radar/desperate starts for Week 7:
QB Joe Flacco - Facing a non-threatining Atlanta secondary/pass rush, Flacco should look to replicate the pristine first half he enjoyed just last week that saw him throw for over 200 yards and 5 TD's. The running game is helping Flacco out a ton by forcing defenses to consider stacking the box some, Torrey looks to be getting it going, and Steve Smith continues to spread blood and guts all over every field he plays on. He's a decent QB1 streamer for this week.
RB Isaiah Crowell - He may be a firm #2 behind starter Ben Tate, but with Cleveland playing Jacksonville this week, Crowell figures to see the field plenty. I shouldn't even have to say it, but Jacksonville's opponents this season have shown a propensity to take a relatively large lead by the 4th quarter, leading to backups getting some PT. Especially when a backup is as talented as Crowell is. If Cleveland establishes a lead early, we could very easily be looking at another double-digit carry day for Crowell, plus a touchdown.
RB Fred Jackson - He. Will. Not. Lose. See, paraphrasing Nas/Jay-Z always works. Fred-Ex was 10th among running backs in fantasy last year, and at age 33, he is once again hovering around top-10 status, mostly thanks to his 30 receptions (2nd in the NFL for RB's). This week, I expect Jackson to be the lead ball carrier for the Bills as well after C.J. Spiller had a crucial fumble at the end of the first half last week against the Patriots. The catches will continue to be there, and more running lanes should be available to Fred against a soft Minnesota defense.
WR Mohamed Sanu - A.J. Green is (sadly) out another week, so Sanu will continue his time as Andy Dalton's #1 wideout. Truthfully, Gio is probably the alpha dog in the passing game, but there are still plenty of targets to go around, and Sanu is next in line. In Week 6, he put up a monster 10-catch, 120-yard, and 1-TD stat line. He may not post numbers like that again, but expect him to come reasonably close as long as Colts's cornerback Vontae Davis doesn't shadow him all game.
WR Odell Beckham Jr. - Not sure if he is true FLEX material just yet, but he could be after this week. Beckham, along with Reuben Randle, has a huge opportunity in front of him with Victor Cruz being out for the year, and he has some serious expectations heaped on him. Those expectations are merited, of course, as he was a 1st-round pick. He possesses all the talent necessary to take a leap into big-time fantasy relevance, now the only question is: Will he?
TE Jordan Reed - Seriously, if he's not owned and being started in every league this week, that league should be immediately voided and barred from play for the rest of the year.
Good luck to all fantasy owners in Week 7.
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